Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to say, I’ll go ahead and say them anyway.
– Lily Allen
This is from the song ‘Hard Out Here’ by Lily Allen. Even though I completely do not identify myself with the lyrics of this song, I do like the melody and this specific phrase. And I can find myself in this phrase.
I am not the kind of person who can sugarcoat my words while saying something. I’ve known for a long time that I am quite a direct person but I became really aware of it when I was about seventeen and wanted to talk to someone about something ‘big’ (I don’t remember what it was, it’s so long ago and apparently it wasn’t that big!) Anyway, I was telling what I was going to say to one of my girlfriends starting by ‘I am going to do this very subtle’. When finished her reaction was ‘Okay, that’s fine. But what is subtle about it?’ And at that exact moment I realized that I cannot sugarcoat my words and I doubt if I will ever be able to.
I don’t think it’s a bad trait. I’m someone who likes finishing things good but fast, I do not like waiting and certainly not beating about the bush. So being direct is just a small part of the bigger picture.
And I want to emphasize that being direct is not equal to being mean or rude. It is possible to be direct and simultaneously being respectful. At least I think I am. I attach great importance to basic friendliness, because it can make someone’s day to receive a smile or a sincere hello.
Being direct or having to say ten things before telling what you want to, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is to not hurt anyone with your words.
Lots of love,